When Broomsticks Are in the Shop: How One Commuter’s Snarky Clapback Won the Bus Stop
Public Transportation, Petty Revenge, and the Fine Art of Snark
Ah, the city bus: a rolling microcosm of humanity, a place where personal space is a myth and patience is a daily test. If you’ve ever commuted in a big city—especially somewhere like downtown Philly—you know that getting off a crowded bus isn’t just about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about survival, strategy, and, occasionally, the opportunity to deliver a perfectly timed zinger.
This is exactly what happened to Reddit user u/Either_Coconut, whose recent tale from r/PettyRevenge has us howling, nodding, and wishing we all had our own broomsticks for the daily grind. Let’s set the scene…
The Bus Stop Ballet: When Exiting Feels Like a Contact Sport
Picture it: Another bustling morning, a packed bus pulls up to a busy downtown Philly stop. Dozens of people inside, dozens more waiting outside—everyone with somewhere to be, no one with an ounce of chill. As the doors swoosh open, the people outside surge forward, eager to stake their claim on a coveted seat. The problem? They’re blocking the very people who need to get off.
Our hero, standing at the exit, readies themselves for battle. With a deep breath and a polite “Excuse me,” they attempt the classic commuter sidestep through the wall of humanity. Brushing past one, then another—it's unavoidable. Most ignore the contact, but one woman, apparently affronted by the mere existence of elbows and backpacks, spins around and unleashes a choice curse.
Now, many of us would mutter an apology and scuttle away. Not u/Either_Coconut. No, no. This commuter had a broomstick up their sleeve—figuratively speaking.
The Snark Heard ‘Round the Bus
What do you want me to do? FLY over the crowd? My broom’s in the shop! If my broom were working, I wouldn’t need to take the bus!
And just like that, the mood shifts. Laughter ripples through the crowd. Even the most jaded commuters crack a smile, grateful for the comic relief. All except “Ms. Grouchyface,” who, as described, could probably curdle milk with her glare.
The beauty of this moment isn’t just the comedic timing—it’s the way snark, when delivered skillfully, can cut through tension and remind us all not to take ourselves too seriously. Sometimes, the best petty revenge isn’t about escalation; it’s about showing the world you won’t be cowed by a little rudeness. Instead, you’ll respond with humor, charm, and maybe just a touch of witchy wit.
Why Do Bus Stops Bring Out the Worst (and Best) in Us?
Let’s be honest: public transit is stressful. You’re tired, you’re late, and the last thing you want is to be jostled by a stranger. But the “let me on before you get off” crowd? They’re a special breed. We’ve all seen them—they ignore the unspoken rule of transit: let people off before you get on. It’s simple physics and common courtesy!
So why do people do it? Psychologists suggest that crowded environments trigger a kind of “scarcity mindset.” People worry there won’t be a seat left, so they rush in, ignoring basic etiquette. But here’s the thing—when someone handles it with grace, or in this case, snark, it can reset the social contract for everyone.
The Power of a Well-Timed Zinger
What’s so satisfying about this story is that it wasn’t mean-spirited. The snarky reply didn’t escalate the situation; it diffused it. The crowd laughed, the tension broke, and even those squeezed at the door probably felt a little lighter as they boarded.
There’s a lesson here for all of us: Sometimes, the best way to handle rudeness is with a wink and a joke. (And if you can work in a witch reference? Even better.)
Next time you find yourself in a jam—be it at a bus stop, a grocery store, or anywhere crowds gather—remember: while you might not have a broomstick handy, you do have the power of humor. Use it wisely, and you just might turn an everyday annoyance into a story worth sharing.
What’s your best public transit story or snarky comeback? Drop it in the comments below—let’s keep the laughter (and the petty revenge) rolling!
Original Reddit Post: Block me from leaving the bus? Here, have some snark!