When Cot Wars Go Malicious: A Medical Transport Tale of Petty Compliance
In the high-stakes world of non-emergency medical transport, you’d think the biggest battles would be fought over patient care, tight schedules, or the ever-present lack of parking. But as it turns out, sometimes the fiercest confrontations are over… cots. Yes, the humble stretcher has become the unlikely centerpiece in one of Reddit’s most entertaining tales of petty, yet oh-so-satisfying, malicious compliance.
Let’s dive into the story of “Who’s Cot Is It Anyway!?”, where a driver’s stubborn attachment to a specific piece of equipment leads to the kind of poetic justice that only a seasoned coworker can deliver. Spoiler: It’s gloriously petty, and you’ll probably be rooting for the “villain” by the end.
The Cot Chronicles: A Petty Prologue
First, a little background for the uninitiated: In the world of medical transport, not all cots are created equal. Some are manual, some power-assisted, some Berry. Most staffers simply use what’s assigned, but there’s always that one guy—the cot connoisseur—who insists on “his” cot, complete with a label and a sense of ownership that borders on the absurd.
Enter our protagonist, u/danz409, who works on a non-emergency medical team and has the pleasure (or pain) of dealing with a particular colleague. This driver, let’s call him “Cot King,” has a reputation for only using Truck 26 and a very specific, specially-labeled cot. When his precious truck gets sent to the shop, Cot King’s world is upended. But instead of rolling with the punches, he doubles down on his demands.
Malicious Compliance: The Office Olympics of Petty Revenge
Here’s where things get juicy. With Truck 26 in the shop, Cot King is assigned Truck 29 for Monday. Ever the diligent coworker, danz409 ensures Cot King’s beloved cot and equipment are moved into the new truck. It’s a kindness few would bother with—especially considering no other drivers require special treatment.
But the truck assignments shuffle again for Tuesday. Truck 29 is now assigned to someone else, and Cot King’s usual ride is still MIA. Danz409, ever the professional (and perhaps a bit of an imp), informs Cot King that his cot will be moved to the unassigned Truck 34 for Tuesday’s runs.
This is where Cot King’s true colors shine. Instead of gratitude, he erupts in a fit of rage: “Don’t touch my shit dammit. I’m not using another truck. Keep it in this truck.” Fine, says danz409. You want your cot to stay in Truck 29? You got it.
The punchline? Truck 29 is scheduled to leave an hour before Cot King even clocks in, and it’s taking his prized cot and gear with it. The result: Cot King arrives at work, only to discover his cot is out on the road, right where he insisted it should remain—but not where he can use it.
Why This Story Resonates
Why do stories like this strike such a chord? Maybe it’s the universal truth that every workplace has a Cot King: the person who insists on bending every rule to suit their preferences, while everyone else just tries to keep things running smoothly. Or maybe we just love seeing the workplace diva get a taste of their own medicine—served with a generous side of compliance.
There’s also a deeper lesson here about workplace dynamics. Sometimes, the rules and routines that keep things humming can be weaponized—either as a shield for the reasonable, or a trap for the unreasonable. When policies meet pettiness, the results can be as hilarious as they are inevitable.
The Art of Malicious Compliance
Malicious compliance isn’t just about following the rules; it’s about following them so literally (and sometimes so creatively) that the original request backfires on the requester. In this case, danz409’s move was a masterstroke: he followed Cot King’s explicit instructions to the letter, but in doing so, set the stage for some well-deserved inconvenience.
It’s the office equivalent of “Be careful what you wish for.” And let’s be honest—there’s something deeply satisfying about seeing someone fall into a pit they dug themselves.
Final Thoughts: Whose Cot Is It Anyway?
So, the next time you’re tempted to throw a workplace tantrum over a piece of equipment, remember: sometimes, sticking too closely to your guns can leave you unarmed. Or in this case, cot-less.
Have you ever witnessed (or orchestrated) a glorious case of malicious compliance at work? Share your stories in the comments below, and don’t forget to check out the original Reddit post for more delicious drama. After all, in the workplace game of cots and consequences, everyone’s a player—even if only one gets to lie down.
What’s the pettiest workplace showdown you’ve seen? Drop your tales of malicious compliance below!
Original Reddit Post: who's cot is it anyway!?