When Customers Assume Retail Workers Are Psychic: The Oban Scotch Saga
If You Think Working Retail Is Easy, You’ve Never Been Asked About Oban Scotch
Ask anyone who’s spent more than a hot minute in retail, and they’ll tell you: customer interactions can be a wild ride. One moment you’re ringing up a six-pack for a friendly local, the next you’re being interrogated about the deep philosophical meaning of “Oban.” Today’s tale, sourced from Reddit’s ever-entertaining r/TalesFromRetail, is a classic example of how a simple question about scotch can spiral into a full-blown communication breakdown.
Picture a humble neighborhood liquor store, a helpful cashier, and a slightly huffy customer on the hunt for a bottle of Oban—pronounced “OH-bin,” not that the customer would ever tell you. As the story goes, not all is as smooth as a well-aged single malt...
Let’s Set the Scene:
Our protagonist is u/argonautweekend, working the back office of a small liquor store. It’s a classic David-and-Goliath situation, with a bigger, better-stocked competitor just down the street. Enter: the customer, brimming with equal parts hope and skepticism, who announces, “Hello, I am looking for something, but you might not have it but down the street probably does. Oban, it’s a scotch.”
Now, if you’ve never worked retail, you might think: “Okay, that’s clear enough.” But if you have? You know there’s a labyrinthine world behind every brand request. In the case of Oban, there are at least a dozen different expressions—14-Year-Old, Little Bay, Distiller’s Edition, and so on. For a liquor store worker, this isn’t just a question; it’s a pop quiz with infinite answers.
The Retailer’s Dilemma:
u/argonautweekend springs into action, loading up the product lookup page. They know Oban is a brand, not a single bottle. So they do what any good employee would: ask a clarifying question. “Which of theirs are you looking for?”
Cue the customer’s exasperated reply: “I...I’m asking for OBAN.”
Translation: how dare you not read my mind?! It’s the classic retail paradox—if you ask for more information, you risk being treated like an idiot; if you don’t, you risk giving the wrong answer and, well, also being treated like an idiot.
Why Is This So Relatable?
If you’ve ever been on either side of a retail counter, you know this dance. Customers, especially when hunting for something specific (and possibly expensive), can get defensive. Maybe they’ve been burned before. Maybe they think “Oban” is a single, monolithic product. But in reality, brands like Oban churn out a portfolio of bottles, each with a different age statement, proof, and price point.
Imagine walking into a car dealership and asking for “a Toyota.” The salesperson would (hopefully) ask, “Which model?” The same logic applies to scotch. It’s not pedantic; it’s about getting you the right product!
The Brand Name Trap
This story also highlights how brand names can trip up even the savviest shoppers. Liquor stores (and their computer systems) are organized by more than just “the brand.” There’s SKU numbers, vintage years, special editions, and regional exclusives. A simple “Oban” search could yield a dozen options—most of which, in this case, aren’t even carried at the smaller store.
And let’s not forget the unsung heroes of the retail world: the employees who have to translate your vague requests into actionable information. They’re the human Google, but without the search autocomplete.
How Can We All Do Better?
For customers: Be specific! If you know you want Oban 14, say so. If you’re not sure, describe the label, the price, or even where you saw it last. Your local liquor store employee isn’t psychic, but they sure do try their best.
For retail workers: Keep your cool, even when a customer’s tone turns snippy. Just remember, you’re the expert here—and sometimes, that means gently guiding a customer through the maze of options (even if they’re convinced there’s only one).
Raise a Glass (of Oban 14) to Retail Warriors
Next time you’re shopping for something as nuanced as scotch, spare a thought for the folks on the other side of the counter. They’re not being difficult—they just want to help you get exactly what you want, even if that means asking a few extra questions.
Have your own tales of customer confusion or retail misadventures? Pour yourself a dram and share them in the comments. Let’s toast to clearer communication—and the patience of retail workers everywhere!
So, what’s your “Oban” story? Have you ever been on either side of this brand-name brain teaser? Share your best (or worst) retail moments below!
Original Reddit Post: I'm not a fan of people who reply like I'm the idiot.