When IT Chooses Process Over Results: A Tale of Malicious Compliance and Corporate Chaos
There’s an old saying in the business world: "If it ain't broke, don’t fix it." But what happens when bureaucracy insists on fixing things until they break? Enter the world of IT, where processes reign supreme—even if it means sacrificing results, client satisfaction, and, occasionally, sanity itself.
Today’s story, straight from the trenches of Reddit’s r/MaliciousCompliance, is a masterclass in what happens when you force a square peg (a results-driven employee) into a round hole (a ticket-driven IT department). Spoiler: it involves executive panic, a dash of schadenfreude, and a satisfying twist of corporate comeuppance.
When Process Becomes the Problem
Our protagonist, u/AlienAnimaReleased, found themselves shuffled from the business side into IT—not because of a passion for server racks or scrum boards, but because of "better alignment with software delivery." Translation: they were too expensive for sales, too honest for hand-waving project sign-offs, and just irritating enough to be someone else’s problem.
Upon arrival in IT land, they discovered a world where nothing—absolutely nothing—happened without a ticket. Want to ask a colleague a question? Ticket. Need to clarify a spec? Ticket. Receive a divine revelation about a bug? Better ticket that epiphany! The Project Managers guarded the ticket queue like dragons on a hoard, and the gears of progress ground slowly.
But our hero’s job was unique: they were the living, breathing encyclopedia of the company’s software—trusted by clients, relied upon by developers, and allergic to pointless delays. Naturally, clients (especially VIP execs) bypassed the process to get quick answers.
Management, however, had other ideas. After one too many “spirited discussions” about focusing on process over client needs, the order came down: no tickets, no work. All client emails were to be forwarded to the PMs, and only assigned tickets could be touched. The rationale? “We won’t know how overworked you are unless it’s in the system.” (Because everyone knows nothing says ‘overworked’ like a mountain of unassigned tickets gathering dust.)
Malicious Compliance: The Art of Following Orders (Exactly)
Most people would roll their eyes and grumble. Our protagonist, however, chose the higher path—the path of malicious compliance. So when the CFO of a major client reached out for a customized build estimate (the sort of thing they’d handle in a couple of hours), the request was dutifully forwarded to the PMs and the boss—no action taken, just as instructed.
Days ticked by. The CFO followed up, urgency mounting. Again, our hero cc’d everyone, apologized for the delay, and waited for a ticket assignment that never came. Behind the scenes, they’d already done the work, but rules are rules.
Then, panic! The boss, suddenly aware that the company’s biggest client was being ignored (and having been cc’d the entire time), frantically demanded to know why. Cue the calm, gleeful response: “I’m waiting for a ticket. You’re cc’d on all communications. Ask the PMs.”
The silence was chef’s kiss delicious. Then, at last, the boss relented: “Okay… you don’t need a ticket for everything. In the future, if it’s from an executive, just respond and make a ticket afterward.”
Victory! The estimate was sent, the client was happy, and management learned that sometimes, results really do matter more than rigid adherence to process.
Lessons in Bureaucracy (and How to Survive It)
This isn’t just a hilarious story of office politics gone awry; it’s a cautionary tale about the dangers of putting process above people. Sure, tracking work is important. But when red tape starts tying up your best people—and, by extension, your most important clients—you might want to rethink your priorities.
Here are a few takeaways for anyone navigating similar waters: - Don’t let process become a bottleneck. It’s there to help, not hinder. - Listen to your front-line experts. They know where the friction points are. - Be careful whom you label as “difficult.” Sometimes they’re the only thing between you and an angry CFO.
Final Thoughts
So, next time you find yourself drowning in bureaucracy, remember: a well-timed dose of malicious compliance might just be the wake-up call your company needs. Or at the very least, a great story for Reddit.
Have you ever weaponized the rules to prove a point at work? Share your own tales of office absurdity in the comments below!
Inspired by this Reddit post from u/AlienAnimaReleased. For more stories of corporate misadventures, stick around!
Original Reddit Post: IT wanted process over results. I gave them process — and panic.