When Kevin Met Microwave: A Factory Tale of Metal, Mayhem, and Mandatory Signage
Have you ever witnessed a workplace “Kevin moment” so dazzlingly oblivious that it demanded the immediate creation of a new safety sign? If not, let me introduce you to the legend of Kevin—the man who microwaved metal at a factory full of flammable chemicals, uttered the immortal words “I’ve done this for years,” and lived to see his culinary innovation immortalized in laminated print above the communal microwave.
Sometimes, the stories that come out of Reddit’s r/StoriesAboutKevin are so astonishing, you’d swear they were scripted. But no, folks, this one is pure, unfiltered Kevin. And it might just make you rethink your lunchroom etiquette—and your coworkers.
Microwaves, Metal, and Mayhem: A Recipe for Disaster
Let’s set the stage. Our hero (the Reddit poster, not Kevin) works in a small factory, where safety is no joke. With all sorts of hazardous chemicals and gasses lurking about, even a small spark could mean the difference between a productive workday and an impromptu fireworks show. So imagine the sheer horror when, one fateful morning, they walk into the lunchroom to see Kevin about to nuke his pizza—metal storage container and all.
Now, for those who missed that one pivotal “why we don’t put metal in the microwave” life lesson, here’s a quick refresher: Microwaves cook by bouncing electromagnetic waves off your food, and metal reflects those waves. Instead of heating your leftovers, you’re creating mini-lightning storms inside the microwave, risking sparks, fire, and possibly a full-blown explosion if something (like the aforementioned chemicals) gets involved. It’s the kind of science experiment you only run once—if you’re lucky.
But Kevin? Kevin’s been running this experiment for years.
The Intervention: Safety Committee to the Rescue
Our protagonist, who moonlights as the factory’s safety committee member, had a swift and entirely appropriate reaction: “KEVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Kevin, in true Kevin fashion, responded with confusion. “What?” he asked, as if the only thing separating him from a perfectly crisp slice of pizza was a little more wattage.
The ensuing exchange was the stuff of workplace legend. When told, gently but firmly, that one does not simply put metal in the microwave, Kevin hit us with the classic: “Really? I’ve done this for years.” The implication being, of course, that years of not being blown up is scientific evidence that his method was safe.
Never mind that every safety poster, science teacher, and panicked parent in the world would disagree. Never mind the fact that the lunchroom was just one careless zap away from a pop-up fireworks display. Kevin had survived—until today.
Our safety-conscious narrator quickly swapped out Kevin’s metal container for a proper paper plate, possibly saving both Kevin and the building from an impromptu pyrotechnics show. But the story doesn’t end there.
The Legend Grows: When One Kevin Changes the Rules for All
Because our narrator is a responsible adult (and, more importantly, didn’t want to have to fill out a 20-page incident report), they reported the incident to HR. The result? A brand-new, bold sign above the microwave: “No metal in the microwave.”
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the power of a single Kevin. Thanks to his culinary curiosity, future generations of factory workers will now have clear, explicit instructions for pizza reheating. Somewhere out there, a sign manufacturer is quietly grateful for Kevin’s existence.
And let’s be honest—every workplace has a Kevin. Maybe you’ve worked with someone who thought nothing of microwaving a whole can of soup, or who used a fork to retrieve toast from the toaster. Maybe you’ve been that Kevin. (If you have, don’t worry. We all make mistakes. Just don’t do it again.)
Lessons Learned—And Signs Made
What can we glean from this slice of factory life? First: basic safety rules exist for a reason, even if you’ve “gotten away with it for years.” Second: never underestimate the potential of a good sign to save both lives and lunch breaks. Third: if you’re on the safety committee, always keep a stash of paper plates handy—you never know when you’ll have to save a Kevin from himself.
But most importantly, stories like this remind us that sometimes, it’s the little things—like a simple lunchroom mishap—that keep us laughing, learning, and occasionally laminating new workplace warnings.
Have you ever witnessed a Kevin moment at your job? Did it lead to a new rule or an unforgettable story? Share your tales of workplace woe and wisdom in the comments below!
Remember: metal belongs in your toolbox, not your microwave. Unless, of course, you want to become the next legend on r/StoriesAboutKevin.
Original Reddit Post: Kevin puts metal in a microwave