When Kevins Dream Big (But Forget the Details): Hilarious Tales from a German Job Prep Program
We all know a Kevin. Maybe he’s the guy who swears he’ll be a millionaire “as soon as I think of something to sell.” Or perhaps he’s the future kindergarten teacher who’s racked up a rap sheet before his 17th birthday. If you’ve ever found yourself surrounded by characters who seem to defy the basic laws of logic, you’ll love the real-life adventures of u/AceOwlHedwig from Reddit’s r/StoriesAboutKevin.
Picture this: Germany, four years ago, in a government-run program designed to help recent high school grads find their path. It’s meant to guide young adults toward jobs, apprenticeships, or (for the more academically inclined) university. But, as it turns out, sometimes the biggest lesson isn’t on the curriculum—it’s learning how to survive a room full of “Kevins.”
Kevin #1: The Billionaire Without a Blueprint
Every great business started with an idea. Apple had computers, Nike had shoes, and Kevin #1… well, he had confidence. From the moment he swaggered into the prep program, he declared he would build his own company—never mind the pesky detail of what that company would actually do.
When pressed by the educators for a business plan, Kevin #1 shrugged and said, “I don’t know, something that will get me rich.” Applications for internships? Beneath him. Entry-level jobs? Please. Our entrepreneurial hero was convinced his yet-to-be-invented business would catapult him straight to the top. Who needs experience or a product, anyway?
To add to his resume of rebellion, Kevin #1 would sneakily vape indoors, thinking he was the stealthiest guy since James Bond. Spoiler: he wasn’t. And when our author tried to have a real conversation with him, they described the experience as, “the light was on but no one was home.” Sometimes, you meet people who are so bafflingly confident in their own delusions that you have to admire the audacity.
Kevin #2: Grandma Chic and Digital Dilemmas
Next up, Kevin #2, the master of accidental backhanded compliments. On the day our author dressed to impress in a Victorian-inspired outfit, Kevin #2 attempted to roast them by saying they “dressed like his grandma.” When that failed to land (because, let’s be honest, Victorian chic is timeless), he backpedaled with Olympic-level speed. “It’s a compliment! I would never insult my own grandmother.” Nice save, Kevin.
But wait, there’s more. Kevin #2 aspired to be a kindergarten teacher, a noble profession—except for the small snag of his criminal record by age 16, featuring around six minor offenses. When informed that a history of petty crime might not be the best fit for shaping young minds, he seemed genuinely surprised. Maybe he thought his street smarts would help with nap time negotiations?
Kevin #2’s adventures didn’t stop at career confusion. At one point, he had to be taught that an email sent from a computer isn’t magically different from the one you get on your phone. Is it generational, or just another classic Kevin moment? The jury’s still out.
Lessons from the Land of Kevins
It’s easy to chuckle at these stories, but there’s something almost charming about the unfiltered optimism (and occasional cluelessness) of these Kevins. They remind us that growing up isn’t just about making the right choices—it’s about making mistakes, learning from them, and sometimes providing quality entertainment for everyone around you.
For every future CEO who starts with a lemonade stand, there’s a Kevin who believes he’ll be rich just by wanting it enough. And for every kindergarten teacher with a spotless record, there’s a Kevin who thinks the only job requirement is liking kids (and maybe having a grandma with good fashion sense).
So, next time you encounter a Kevin in your life, take a moment to appreciate the wild ride. Maybe offer a little guidance—or at least a gentle reminder not to vape indoors.
Conclusion: Share Your Kevin Encounters!
Have you met a Kevin (or Kevina) who left you speechless? Do you have your own stories of workplace or classroom confusion? Drop your tales in the comments below! Let’s celebrate the wonderfully weird world of Kevins together. And remember: everyone has a little Kevin in them—just hopefully not the criminal record.
Inspired by this Reddit post from u/AceOwlHedwig. Give them an upvote for sharing!
Original Reddit Post: Kevin wants to get rich without an actual Idea and other stories