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When Kevins Try to Walk Through You: Hilarious Misadventures in Human Navigation

If you’ve ever worked in a public-facing job, you know the struggle: people asking for directions, looking lost, or ignoring your best attempts to help. But what if some folks didn’t just ignore your guidance—they tried to walk straight through you, as if you were a ghostly mirage? Welcome to the wild world of “Kevins,” where the laws of solid matter are more like loose suggestions.

Reddit user u/agizzy23 recently shared a head-scratching tale on r/StoriesAboutKevin titled “Kevin keeps trying to walk through me.” The story is as bizarre as it is hilarious: picture yourself at work, clearly stating and gesturing the right way, only to have people—multiple people!—try to walk directly through your corporeal form, as if you’re some kind of sophisticated holographic projection sponsored by Apple.

Let’s break down the “Kevin” phenomenon, why it happens, and what we can all learn from these accidental human bumper cars.

The Curious Case of the Walking-Through Kevin

First, a quick primer for the uninitiated: “Kevin” is Reddit shorthand for someone who’s, let’s say, not operating with all cylinders firing. The kind of person who, when told “turn left,” confidently turns right into a broom closet.

But the walking-through-you Kevin is a special breed. Not content with simply misunderstanding directions, these folks seem to bypass basic scientific principles, treating your very existence as optional. As u/agizzy23 puts it, “That’s not how solid matter works.”

It’s as if, for these rare souls, Newton’s Third Law of Motion was a mere suggestion. You know, the one about every action having an equal and opposite reaction? Not in Kevin’s universe. In Kevin’s universe, people are as negotiable as air.

The Anatomy of a Human Speed Bump

Why do some people behave this way? Let’s speculate:

1. The Tunnel Vision Effect:
When you’re in a rush or nervous, your focus narrows to the point where only the end goal matters. Everything (and everyone) in between becomes background noise—or, apparently, background matter.

2. The Overconfidence Principle:
Some Kevins are convinced they know better, even when they don’t. Directions? Suggestions. Physical obstacles? Minor inconveniences. If charisma could bend the laws of physics, these folks would walk through walls daily.

3. The NPC Syndrome:
Ever notice how video game characters sometimes get stuck walking into walls or other characters? Some people have internalized this behavior, treating real life like an open-world game where collision detection is still in beta.

The Unsung Heroes: Direction-Givers of the World

Let’s take a moment to salute those who work as human signposts. Not only do they have to explain the same directions a hundred times a day, but they also have to dodge the occasional would-be human bulldozer. The patience required is nothing short of saintly.

Imagine being at your post, expertly pointing and explaining, only to have a Kevin lock eyes with you, nod in understanding, and then proceed to plow straight ahead—right through your personal space. It’s the ultimate test of both patience and reflexes.

Lessons from the Holographic Frontlines

What can we learn from u/agizzy23’s experience?

  • Personal space is not a myth. Respect the bubble, folks. If someone is standing in your path, they’re probably there for a reason.
  • Solid matter is, in fact, solid. Unless you’re auditioning for a Ghostbusters reboot, try not to phase through your fellow humans.
  • Pay attention! If someone is giving you directions, listen. And if you don’t understand, it’s okay to ask again—just don’t use their body as a shortcut.

Share Your Own Kevin Encounters

Have you ever had a Kevin try to walk through you? Or maybe you’ve been the accidental Kevin yourself! Share your funniest or most cringe-worthy “human collision” stories in the comments below. Let’s celebrate the moments that make public-facing jobs endlessly entertaining—and endlessly confusing.

And remember, the next time you see someone pointing the way, don’t treat them like a hologram. We’re all real, solid, and possibly just as confused as you are.

What’s your weirdest human traffic jam story? Drop it below and let’s see which “Kevin” reigns supreme!

Original Reddit Post: Kevin keeps trying to walk through me