When Life Hands You Poop: A Hilarious Tale of Petty Revenge Through a Sunroof
There are moments in life when you realize the universe is practically begging you to get petty. Maybe it’s the coworker who “accidentally” eats your lunch for the third time, or the neighbor who lets their dog do its business on your lawn. But what happens when the “business” lands—quite literally—on your own windshield? One Redditor, u/pfizersbadmmkay, found himself facing the ultimate test of low-stakes vengeance when his friend’s sister decided to make his car the target of her dog’s latest offering.
Set in the sweltering summer of 2005, this story is a masterclass in serving up justice hot and, er… aromatic. Let’s dive into the stinky saga of Tanya, her unfortunate sunroof, and how one bag of dog poop became the catalyst for a lesson in never starting a war you can’t finish.
The Setup: Sibling Rivalry and a Steaming Bag of Trouble
Our protagonist, a long-time buddy of Aaron, was no stranger to the quirks of Aaron’s family. Aaron’s older sister Tanya was, apparently, the kind of person you’d describe as “difficult,” especially if you happened to be anywhere near her or her Jack Russell. The dynamic in the house could best be summed up as “perpetual late-20s adolescence.” Both siblings, well into their twenties, still lived at home, and the family dogs had their own opinions about the regular visitors.
On this particular sun-baked afternoon, as u/pfizersbadmmkay rolled up in his car, he watched Tanya returning from a walk, swinging a plastic bag brimming with the freshest of canine deposits. With all the subtlety of a cartoon villain, Tanya sauntered past his car and—without so much as a warning—flung the bag of poop directly onto his windshield.
Let’s pause to appreciate the audacity here. Dog poop is one of the great social equalizers: nobody wants to deal with it, and everybody gets mad about it. But to weaponize it, right in front of someone’s eyes? That’s next-level chutzpah.
The Petty Plot Unfolds
Most of us, when faced with a windshield full of dog excrement, would probably respond with words, maybe some yelling, or perhaps a resigned trip to the nearest gas station squeegee. But our hero didn’t just get even—he got creative.
After a quick scan for the nearest garbage bin (or moral compass), he spotted Tanya’s car nearby, baking in the sun with its sunroof cracked just enough to keep the leather from liquefying. Opportunity knocked—and he answered. With surgical precision, he slipped the offending baggie right through the sunroof, nestling it perfectly on the passenger seat. Justice, as they say, was delivered.
He then strolled inside, six-pack in hand, breezed by Tanya’s smug grin, and spent the next few hours playing video games and sipping beers with Aaron. Not a word was said. The poop now had the stage—and a sweltering hot car—for its final act.
The Smell of Victory (and Dog Poop)
The true beauty of this revenge was in the slow burn—literally. It wasn’t until a few days later that the real punchline emerged. Tanya, prepping to sell her beloved ’99 Prelude, opened the passenger door to showcase its features to a hopeful buyer. Instead, she unveiled a stench that would haunt even the most seasoned of used car dealers. The day-old, sun-roasted bag of dog poop had transformed her vehicle into a biohazard. Unsurprisingly, the sale fell through.
The lesson? Tanya never threw anything at his car again. Sometimes, karma doesn’t just catch up—it cooks itself into your upholstery.
Why We Love Petty Revenge
There’s a special place in the internet’s heart for stories like these. They tap into our desire for justice—especially the kind that’s clever, satisfying, and just embarrassing enough to make a point. Petty? Absolutely. But sometimes, the smallest acts are the ones we remember the longest.
So next time someone tries to dump their problems on your windshield, remember: You might just have the perfect opportunity for a little poetic justice. And if you do, make sure to keep your sunroof tightly closed.
What’s the pettiest revenge you’ve ever pulled off? Share your stories below—just keep it clean (or at least, less aromatic than Tanya’s!).
Original Reddit Post: Friend's sister threw poop at my car.