When Life Steals Your Weed, Serve Karma With a Side of Pubes: A Petty Revenge Classic
Sometimes, the universe hands you lemons, and sometimes it steals your weed. What do you do when your stash disappears, and the only likely culprit is a freeloading, chain-smoking, would-be uncle squatting at your friend’s place? If you’re Redditor u/oxtailtacos, you don’t just let karma do its thing—you give it a little nudge… with your pubes.
This is the gloriously petty—and deeply personal—revenge story that’s been making the rounds on r/PettyRevenge, titled with all the subtlety of a Jackass episode: "Smoke my pubes." If you’ve ever wanted a masterclass in low-level vengeance, read on. You might just find yourself snickering at the sheer audacity of it all.
When Weed Goes Missing and Suspicions Rise
Our tale begins in the kind of scenario that’s instantly familiar to anyone who’s ever tried to keep their herbal hobbies under wraps. The original poster (let’s call them Taco for short) had a little weed and wanted to stash it at a friend’s house while running errands. Enter the cast of characters: the friend, the friend’s mother (who’s described, with a wink, as needing “some dick once in a while”), and “unc”—the crusty, possibly lecherous old dude who hangs around the apartment, living off the kindness (or passivity) of others.
Unc has a nasty habit: he saves cigarette butts to scrape out tobacco and roll what are described as “the world’s shittiest cigarettes.” It’s in this box of butts that Taco hides his precious dime bag, trusting that no one will think to look there. But when he and his friend return, the weed is gone. The only possible suspect? The ever-present, ever-smoking Unc.
Unc, playing the role of innocent bystander, suggests maybe the weed just slipped into the mountain of old cigarette ends. He even asks Taco’s friend to help roll up a fresh batch of his signature sad cigs. They sift through the butts, but the weed is nowhere to be found.
The Art of Petty Revenge: A Hair-Brained Scheme
Now, this is the point where most people would accept defeat. Maybe rant a bit, maybe plot something elaborate that never comes to fruition. But Taco? Taco goes for the gold. He decides that if Unc is going to steal his weed, Unc is going to smoke his pubes.
With surgical precision, Taco plucks three of his finest: one from the taint, one from the ballsack, and one “freaky little guy” from the base of his, ahem, manhood. These are no ordinary hairs—they come with roots attached, a kind of signature flourish. He twists them into Unc’s next roll-up.
Unc, none the wiser, lights up. Cue the coughing fit. Taco and his friend watch in suspense—did he catch on? Did he taste the taint? But no, Unc just assumes that the strange flavor means he’s gotten a bonus hit. “Must’ve been some weed in there after all!” he declares, puffing away with the enthusiasm of a man who has never heard of hygiene.
Lessons in Low-Stakes Justice
If there’s a moral to this story, it’s that sometimes the universe needs a little help delivering justice. Is smoking someone’s pubes the most mature response to petty theft? Absolutely not. Is it effective? Considering that Taco and his friend now share an inside joke about how “you can get high from smoking my pubes,” I’d say mission accomplished.
Of course, this isn’t just a tale of revenge—it’s a snapshot of the weird, wild world of young adulthood. Where boundaries are fuzzy, trust is a gamble, and sometimes the best you can do is fight fire with… well, hair.
Would You Go This Far?
Everyone has their own threshold for payback. Some would call Taco’s move genius; others, gross. But all can agree: it’s unforgettable. Next time you’re tempted to cross someone’s boundaries—literally or figuratively—remember this tale. You never know what secret ingredient might be waiting in your next smoke.
What’s the pettiest revenge you’ve ever served (or tasted)? Share your wildest, weirdest stories in the comments below—and don’t forget to check your cigarettes before you light up.
So, was Taco’s pube-powered payback too much, or just enough? Let us know—just keep it classy... or at least, cleaner than Unc’s next smoke.
Original Reddit Post: Smoke my pubes.