When Malicious Compliance Meets a Paint Can: The Band Saw Debacle That Became Legendary
There are few things more entertaining than workplace stories where the rules are followed so literally that chaos ensues. One classic tale from Reddit’s r/MaliciousCompliance recently caught fire, featuring a stubborn uncle, a grumpy supervisor, and a band saw that would never be the same. If you’ve ever been told to do a job you’re wildly unqualified (or uninterested) for, this story is for you.
Let’s set the scene: It’s upstate New York, late 1970s. A vast government facility churns out vital military equipment, its cavernous halls echoing with the sounds of old-school machinists—hardworking, skilled, and not exactly keen on painting duty. Enter our hero’s uncle, a machinist by trade, a “not-a-painter” by every fiber of his being, and the protagonist of a paint job that became the stuff of legend.
The Band Saw That Time Forgot (And Then Never Let Anyone Forget)
When a supervisor decided an old band saw was looking a bit too shabby, he made the fateful choice to assign our reluctant machinist the task of painting it. The uncle, not one to mince words, informed his supervisor: “I’m not good at painting. You should ask someone else.”
But his supervisor, perhaps already used to the stubbornness of machinists or simply running low on options, insisted: “You WILL paint the band saw OR ELSE!” And thus, the stage was set for some truly malicious compliance.
What followed was a masterclass in “weaponized incompetence,” as one commenter, u/Big_Competition3812, called it. The uncle didn’t just slap a coat of paint on the band saw. No, he painstakingly painted every single surface—blade, control knobs, even the power cord. Anything that could be painted, was painted. But why stop there? With paint still left in the can, he simply dumped the remainder all over the machinery, letting it drip and run in chaotic, Pollock-esque fashion.
The result? A band saw transformed from shabby to utterly unusable—at least until someone spent hours removing the paint from its most essential parts.
The Community Reacts: From Military Kitchens to Mechanical Rooms
The Reddit community, seasoned veterans of workplace shenanigans, immediately saw the humor (and the warning) in this tale. The top comment, by u/Culach01972, shared a similar story from the military involving coffee, not paint, but the principle was the same: “I don’t drink coffee, I don’t care what it tastes like, but they insisted I make it. So I made it terribly, then made it undrinkably strong. Never got asked again.”
Others, like u/JoWhee, reminisced about their own “malicious painting” escapades: “We painted everything: valves, pumps, nameplates, motors, shafts, grease fittings, electrical panels, door knobs…even the light switches.” The only things spared were the fire alarms (because, as they wisecracked, even defiance has its limits when safety is involved).
It turns out, this brand of mischief is a time-honored tradition in both blue-collar and military worlds. As u/Eichmil wisely noted, “Being in the field with a bunch of caffeine deprived cranky, weapons-toting maniacs is how you get incidents.” The lesson? Sometimes, weaponized incompetence is a survival strategy.
The Fine Line Between Malicious Compliance and Mayhem
Not everyone cheered the uncle’s creative approach. Some commenters, like u/Responsible-Deer-940, wondered if this crossed the line into vandalism. “Malicious compliance would either be do a bad quick job or just go full meticulous and make it look amazing, but take forever. This should have gotten the person fired for destruction of company property.”
It’s a fair point. There’s a difference between making a statement and causing a mess someone else has to clean up. But in the context of 1970s industrial culture, where gruff managers and stubborn machinists clashed daily, this kind of stunt was as much about workplace pecking order as it was about the paint itself.
Indeed, as one sage put it: “One thing I was taught about being a manager is that eventually you’re going to have to eat crow—more than once.” Sometimes, the best lesson a supervisor can learn is to trust the people who say, “This is not my skillset.”
The Aftermath: A Permanent Record and a Permanent Lesson
So, what became of the uncle? According to the original poster [OP], he earned himself a special note in his permanent record: “Do not assign [uncle] any painting duties!” Mission accomplished.
The story’s legacy lives on, not just in the annals of that government facility, but in every workplace where someone’s been handed a task so outside their wheelhouse that only mischief could result. As u/CoderJoe1 quipped, “The saw was coated as his boss noted.” To which u/aquainst1 replied, “We must band together like coats of old paint.”
Conclusion: Have You Ever Weaponized Incompetence?
Whether you see it as hilarious rebellion, risky business, or a lesson in management, this saga has it all: humor, hubris, and a healthy dose of paint. Do you have a story where following the rules led to unintended (and unforgettable) consequences? Share your tales of malicious compliance below—extra points if they involve paint, coffee, or industrial equipment with a grudge.
After all, sometimes the best way to not get asked again… is to do exactly what you were told.
Original Reddit Post: I'm not a painter, but you want me to paint some equipment. Ok!