When Ms. White Called Me “Katherine”: A Hilariously Petty Name-Game Showdown
Let’s face it: if you’ve got a name that isn’t “John” or “Emily,” you’ve probably fielded a few creative pronunciations in your time. Maybe it’s been butchered at graduation, mangled by coffee shop baristas, or — in the case of Redditor u/sk1nnb0nes — flat-out replaced by a teacher who decided “Kau’i” was just too much. What followed? A year-long, deliciously petty standoff that’s equal parts hilarious and eye-opening.
This isn’t just a story about syllables and spelling. It’s about pride, identity, and a sixth grader’s resolve to serve cold, calculated revenge — one “Jessica” at a time. If you’ve ever been called by a name that isn’t yours, you’ll want to read what happened when Ms. White met her match.
The Name Game, Hawaiian Edition
Picture this: You’re in sixth grade math, bracing for the annual “roll call roulette.” Your name, Kau’i (pronounced “Ka-ooh-ee”), is up next. You’re used to the occasional stumble or creative attempt — after all, Hawaiian names aren’t always a walk in the park for the mainland tongue. But what do you do when your teacher, faced with three syllables, just... gives up?
That’s exactly what happened to Kau’i. Ms. White, true to her name in more ways than one, took one look at the attendance sheet, gave it the ol’ “Uh...I’ll call you Katherine,” and moved on. No attempt to learn, no request for a nickname, not even a half-hearted, “Did I almost get it right?” Just a new name, plucked from thin air. Bold move, Jessica. Bold move.
Petty? Maybe. Satisfying? Absolutely.
For two weeks, Kau’i let it slide, stunned into silence by the audacity. But sometimes, you’ve just got to fight fire with fire — or in this case, “Katherine” with “Jessica.” Armed with a yearbook and a mission, Kau’i started calling her teacher by her first name, a forbidden move in the world of middle school etiquette. Jessica became Jess, Jessie, and even JJ. Each time, Ms. White would correct her: “That’s Ms. White.” And each time, Kau’i would double down, holding her ground in the face of authority.
Ms. White never blew up, but the annoyance was palpable. Did she ever stop calling Kau’i “Katherine”? Nope. Did Kau’i let up? Also nope. The pettiness was as steady as a metronome, and while it didn’t end in a dramatic showdown, Kau’i walked away with her dignity intact — and a story for the ages.
Names Matter: Why This Isn’t Just a “Petty” Story
Sure, it’s hilarious to imagine a sixth grader casually calling her teacher “Jess” in front of the whole class. But beneath the comedy is a serious point: Names are tied to identity, culture, and history. For Kau’i, her name isn’t just a label; it’s a link to her Hawaiian heritage and family legacy. Being called “Katherine” wasn’t just lazy — it was erasing.
And it’s not an isolated incident. As Kau’i points out, her school was diverse, and Ms. White was ultimately fired two years later for microaggressions against students of color. The way we handle names, accents, and origins can either create belonging or alienation. Sometimes, the little things — like pronouncing a name correctly, or at least making an effort — matter most.
A Quick Hawaiian Pronunciation Crash Course
Kau’i’s post sparked a flurry of questions about pronunciation, so let’s clear things up. In Hawaiian, every vowel is pronounced — a, e, i, o, u. The okina (the little apostrophe) signals a pause, so “Kau’i” is “Ka-ooh-ee,” not “Kow-ee.” Similarly, “Hawai’i” is “hah-vai-ee,” not “hah-wai-ee.” It’s a beautiful, rhythmic language that deserves respect — and a little practice.
And if you mess up? No sweat! Most people, Kau’i included, appreciate the effort. It’s the trying that counts.
The Last Laugh
Kau’i’s tale isn’t a blockbuster revenge fantasy — but that’s what makes it so relatable. Sometimes, the best payback is staying true to yourself, reclaiming your name, and serving a little sass with your math homework. And as it turns out, being “Katherine” for a year was a small price to pay for the satisfaction of calling Ms. White “Jessica” to her face.
So, next time you meet someone with an unfamiliar name, take a moment, ask, and try. Who knows — you might avoid a nickname war and make a new friend instead.
Have you ever had your name mangled or replaced? Got a story of petty (or not-so-petty) revenge? Share your experience in the comments — and don’t forget to give props to all the Kau’is out there, holding it down for names with meaning!
Original Reddit Post: Teacher called me Katherine because she couldn’t bother to learn how to pronounce my name, so I called her by her first name for the rest of the year!