When Night Audit Becomes Night “Odd-it”: The Tale of the Lobby Bathroom Mud Pie
If you think working the night shift at a hotel is all about peace, quiet, and the gentle hum of vending machines, think again. Sometimes, the universe has a way of turning your slow night into a test of willpower, stomach strength, and a sense of humor. This is the story of one brave night auditor who found themselves in the crappiest situation imaginable—literally.
It all began as most nights do, with a calm parking lot, a quick meal in the car, and the expectation of a routine shift. But as our hero (Reddit user u/Hot-Dragonfruit1914) would soon discover, the lobby men’s bathroom had other plans. What awaited inside was a scene that could only be described as a “mud pie” disaster—one that would put even the most seasoned hotel staff to the ultimate test.
A Night Audit Shift Like No Other
Night audit shifts have a reputation for being uneventful, punctuated by the occasional guest check-in or phone call about extra towels. But hospitality is never truly predictable. Our story’s protagonist was barely clocked in when the previous shift relayed a message: “The house person has an issue in the men’s lobby bathroom.”
Now, if you’ve ever worked in hospitality, you know that “an issue in the bathroom” is rarely good news. But nothing could have prepared them for what they found: a hand-sized “mud pie” resting proudly on the floor, next to the urinal, like some sort of deranged Christmas present left by a guest in distress.
Apparently, an older gentleman—struggling with mobility—had made a valiant but unsuccessful dash for the facilities. And while it’s easy to empathize with his predicament (no one wants to be in that situation), it’s also easy to wish he’d at least let someone know. But embarrassment is a powerful thing, and anonymity is a hotel bathroom’s best friend.
When Teamwork Hits the Limit
Here’s where the true magic of hospitality comes in: teamwork. Or, in this case, the limits of teamwork. The house person, upon seeing the mess, promptly declared she couldn’t clean it without losing her dinner, and the second shift lady firmly reminded everyone that “she doesn’t get paid for that.” Both responses are understandable. There are some lines you just can’t cross—especially after midnight.
But, as any seasoned night auditor will tell you, the “other duties as assigned” clause in your job description is a Pandora’s box. Someone had to step up, and with a sigh and a roll of the sleeves, our hero answered the call.
The Art of Crisis Clean-Up
This is where the story transforms from gross to ingenious. Faced with the task, our night auditor became a MacGyver of sanitation. Gloves? Check. Towels and trash bags? Check. Mop and industrial cleaner? Check. But wait—there’s more.
To combat the olfactory assault, our quick-thinking hero jammed a pair of complimentary ear plugs up their nose, donned a COVID mask, and laced the inside with minty chewing gum. (Pro tip: If you ever need to clean up a biohazard, mint gum and earplugs are apparently your best friends.) The job was done, dignity remained (mostly) intact, and the lobby was once again safe for humanity.
A Humor-Filled Night in Hospitality
If you’ve ever wondered what really happens behind the front desk after dark, let this be your answer. Hotels are the ultimate stage for human drama, comedy, and, occasionally, tragedy. Every shift brings something new, and sometimes that “something new” comes in the form of a literal mess.
Through it all, our night auditor kept their sense of humor, hoping that the guest responsible was able to clean up and that, with just two hours left on the shift, things could only get better. (Spoiler: In hotel life, never say that out loud.)
Share Your Own Tales!
This story is a reminder that, in hospitality, it’s not just about checking in guests and balancing ledgers—it’s about rolling with whatever life (and guests) throw at you, with a little ingenuity and a lot of mint gum.
Got a wild story from your time behind the desk? Or maybe a “crappy” situation of your own? Share your tales in the comments below! And next time you check into a hotel, remember: there’s a night auditor out there, armed with gloves and a sense of humor, ready for anything the night brings.
Sources:
Original Reddit post: The Crappiest Situation I’ve had…
Original Reddit Post: The Crappiest Situation I’ve had…