When Petty Meets Pints: A Rugby Day Pub Crawl and the Barman Who Played Himself

There’s something magical about a rugby day pub crawl in Edinburgh: the camaraderie, the banter, and the promise of a game that could make legends out of mere mortals—or at least out of the fans. But sometimes, the real drama unfolds before you even reach the stadium. And sometimes, it’s not the players, but a surly barman who finds himself at the center of the action.
Today, I bring you a tale from the annals of r/PettyRevenge, where the spirits flow as freely as the pettiness—and where one barman’s need for control turned into a masterclass in poetic justice.
The Scene: Rugby Fever & Frozen Toes
Picture it: Edinburgh, 20 years ago. The kind of winter’s day that makes you question your life choices, but never your loyalty to the team. Seven lads—two Irish, five Scots—wrapped up against the cold, journeying from pub to pub on their pre-game pilgrimage to Murrayfield Stadium.
Amidst the drizzle and excitement, they duck into an ex-serviceman club near Haymarket station. The place is heaving—shoulder to shoulder with rugby fans, each clutching their ticket to warmth (and perhaps a wee dram).
When the group needs drinks, our heroes—OP and his mate Dave from Tyrone—battle through the crowd, hats on heads, thirst in their bones. But before they can utter “pint, please,” the short, red-faced barman stops them dead in their tracks—literally with a palm in the air.
“Not serving you until you take off your hat.”
A power move if ever there was one. Never mind that the pub is a sea of hats, from beanies to flat caps—this barman’s got a point to prove, and he’s picked his target.
The Hat Trick: Petty Power Play
Let’s pause and appreciate the classic British (and Irish) pub scene: unwritten rules, regulars who seem part of the furniture, and that one staff member who takes their authority a smidge too far. Our OP could have caused a scene, but instead, inspiration strikes. Why serve up a row when you can serve up a lesson?
Hat off. Smile on. And then, the best revenge is ordered—one pint for each friend, then another round for good measure. The barman, basking in his tiny victory, lines up 14 pints without a hint of suspicion.
But wait—why stop there? It’s cold, after all. Seven double whiskies to warm the soul. And, in a flourish of faux politeness, OP invites the barman to pour himself a double, too—on their (supposed) tab.
The Bill Comes Due
With the drinks lined up, the barman—smug as you like—throws back his own double before turning to ring it all up. But when he spins around, his customers have vanished, melting into the throng of rugby revelers.
“Where are you going?! Who’s going to pay for these?!”
OP, hat triumphantly back on his head, turns for a final salute and leaves the barman red-faced and shouting, “BASTARD!!!” The regulars, one imagines, were still chuckling into their pints long after.
Why This Petty Revenge Is Perfection
On one level, it’s just a cheeky tale of pub shenanigans and comeuppance. But let’s dig deeper. What makes this act of petty revenge so satisfying?
1. The Target Earned It:
The barman wasn’t enforcing a genuine rule—he was flexing, picking on a random customer for the thrill of authority. There’s a universal satisfaction in seeing such petty tyranny gently but thoroughly undone.
2. The Execution Was Flawless:
No drama. No shouting. Just a masterclass in playing along—right up until the barman’s own smugness did him in.
3. The Community Spirit:
From the regulars to the guy at the bar, everyone saw what was happening. When the system is stacked against you, sometimes the best response is collective, good-humored rebellion.
Final Toast: Share Your Petty Triumphs!
So next time a power-hungry bartender tries to spoil your fun, remember: sometimes the best revenge is served not cold, but with a hat on.
Have you ever served up your own slice of petty revenge? Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of a legendary pub prank? Share your stories in the comments! Let’s raise a glass to good-natured mischief, and to always, always wearing your favorite hat with pride.
Slàinte! 🍻
Original Reddit Post: Petty Barman Poured A Bit Too Much