When Petty Revenge Goes to the Dogs: The Tale of the Grease-Guzzling Neighbor Pup
It’s the stuff of suburban legend: the neighbor who treats your backyard like their personal dog park. But what happens when you add a dash of Christmas brisket, a sneaky gate, and a not-so-innocent pit mix into the mix? One Redditor over at r/PettyRevenge found out in a way that left an entire neighborhood—and thousands of internet strangers—howling.
Let’s set the scene: an unfriendly neighbor with a penchant for late-night parties, illegal pets, and a liberal attitude toward boundaries. Add their dog, a suspiciously present pit mix, and a backyard gate that just can’t seem to stay closed. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, just a little bit of canine culinary chaos.
If you’ve ever had a neighbor who acts like your property lines are drawn in disappearing ink, you’ll feel for u/Key_Slide_7302. Their Reddit post reads like an escalating sitcom: the dog appears in the yard, the gate (which must be actively unlatched) somehow keeps opening, and the neighbors are too busy hotboxing their garage to notice—or care. After a few rounds of “chase the dog out, relatch the gate,” our poster decides to block the gate with a hefty object, only to later need that very block for another task.
And that’s when the real fun begins.
Enter the Brisket Grease Incident. After a 14-hour Christmas barbecue, a full bucket of brisket drippings was set aside—temporarily forgotten. By the next morning, the gate is mysteriously open again, the drippings bucket is nearly empty, and the yard is a disaster zone of shredded paper towels, scattered foil, and unmistakable paw prints. The neighbor’s dog, in a feat of greasy determination, had consumed approximately 32 ounces of pure, unadulterated barbecue runoff.
The aftermath? As u/Key_Slide_7302 gleefully notes, “The neighbors are still cleaning up the mess from the dog. The gate now has a padlock on it. All is quite well 🤣.”
But as any seasoned Redditor will tell you, the real action happens in the comments—and r/PettyRevenge did not disappoint.
The top-voted comment, from u/SoonerRed, delivered a grim veterinary forecast: “Oh, they're not gonna like the pancreatitis that dog’s about to develop.” This kicked off a wave of concern for the dog’s health, with several users sharing their own horror stories of pets who indulged in forbidden fats and paid the gastrointestinal price. u/missbeekery, a former vet worker, chimed in: “Our pancreatitis cases skyrocketed after Thanksgiving, 4th of July and Christmas.” Apparently, holiday feasts are dangerous for more than just our waistlines.
The majority of commenters, like u/Impressive-Safety191, felt a pang of sympathy for the four-legged culprit: “No sympathy for the owner about to spend all their time cleaning up bloody poops and puke, but that poor dog is about to get so, so sick.” Others, like u/ranegyr, made sure to clarify: “While I'm willing to go scorched Earth on the owner, the dog is an innocent victim here. Let's not make that worse.”
Of course, not everyone was content to simply commiserate. Some saw an opportunity for creative escalation. “Throw the dog poop back over the fence into their yard,” suggested u/lapsteelguitar, while others advocated for more inventive tactics—like launching the offending matter onto the neighbor’s roof or front door. As u/GI_gino wisely warned, “Start doing shit like that and things will devolve into a Hatfield-McCoy type situation.” Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a full-blown neighbor feud.
Practical advice wasn’t in short supply, either. u/Complaint_Manager shared a clever gate-latching hack to keep sneaky humans (and curious canines) at bay, while u/desert_dame offered sage words: “High fences and locked gates make for good neighbors.”
The question of whether to report the neighbor to their landlord loomed large, with some urging action to protect future tenants—and the dog itself. Others, like u/Ardilla914, expressed concern that reporting might doom the dog to abandonment or worse, given the breed’s unfortunate reputation in shelters. As u/nightshade00013 poignantly put it, “Sadly some people care more about themselves than the animals in their care, op's neighbors sound like that type.”
But amidst the advice, jokes, and horror stories of canine digestive disasters (“My shepherd snagged a pound of butter off my cupboard... there wasn’t a spot in the backseat of my brand new truck that wasn’t covered,” recalled u/Bitter_Wishbone6624), most commenters agreed on two things: the dog deserved better, and the neighbor had earned every ounce of their greasy, chaotic comeuppance.
For their part, the original poster provided a few updates. They clarified that they gave the neighbors a heads-up about the brisket incident (“They pretty much dismissed it and said ‘thanks.’”), and reassured concerned readers that they’d report back on the dog’s fate. As for the postscript? The gate now has a padlock, and peace—however petty—has been restored.
So, what’s the moral of this brisket-fueled saga? Maybe it’s that boundaries matter, or that a little bit of barbecue karma can go a long way. Or perhaps, as u/LogicalStomach noted, “The padlock is a good boundary. You’re doing them a favor by protecting their dog from your stuff since they can’t.”
If you’ve ever dreamed of the perfect petty revenge, take a page from this Redditor’s book: sometimes, the universe (and a bucket of brisket grease) does the dirty work for you.
Have you ever dealt with a boundary-pushing neighbor? Or has a furry friend ever gotten into something they seriously shouldn’t have? Share your stories below—and remember, lock those gates and hide the drippings!
Original Reddit Post: Neighbor kept opening our gate so their dog could poop in our back yard