When “Rat Hunting” Goes Wrong: How John’s Paranoia Unleashed the Ultimate Workplace Backfire
If you’ve ever worked alongside a workplace “gatekeeper”—you know, that person fiercely protective of their desk, duties, and dubious “special” status—then grab your popcorn. Today’s story is a masterclass in petty revenge, featuring one John: self-styled intellectual, full-time slacker, and (unwittingly) the architect of his own downfall.
Picture this: You're a part-time university computer lab assistant, tasked with helping students print assignments and reset their forgotten passwords. Your colleague, John, is the full-timer who sees himself as the misunderstood genius of the department. His greatest fear? Being replaced in his sweet gig, which mostly consists of browsing the web and curating the finest internet playlists on the university’s dime. So, when you show up—even with zero overlap in shifts—John’s paranoia goes into overdrive. What happens next is both hilarious and deeply satisfying for anyone who’s ever dealt with a toxic coworker.
The Case of the Phantom Crypto-Miner
John’s antics began innocently enough: a daily dose of condescension, unsolicited “advice,” and the kind of “Karen” behavior that makes everyone around roll their eyes. But things took a wild turn when he summoned the OP (our storyteller) into the office, shut off the internet, locked the door, and revealed—in hushed, dramatic tones—a secret: There’s a “rat” on the loose.
Not just any rat, mind you, but a high-tech phantom who, according to John, was sneaking in at night to use the lab computers for cryptocurrency mining. The suspects? A pool of three: John, the OP, and the university guard—the only ones with keys.
John, channeling his inner amateur detective (or perhaps just indulging in his love of melodrama), threatened severe punishment for the culprit—up to and including a little vigilante justice. The OP, wisely, kept their cool, suggested letting administration handle it, and watched as John seethed with barely-contained rage and suspicion.
Paranoia, Cameras, and a Dash of Irony
Weeks passed. No rat was found, no crypto-mining operation discovered. But the OP’s gut said something was off. A little sleuthing around the office revealed the real plot twist: a hidden camera, installed not in the lab, but directly above the OP’s desk. John’s “rat trap” was less about catching digital criminals, and more about spying on his colleague—without university approval, notification, or, you know, basic human decency.
Did the OP storm off to HR? Nope. Instead, they played the long game. A casual chat with the department head—complete with feigned admiration for John’s “smart” secret camera and a helpful suggestion to reposition it for actual lab coverage—was all it took. The result? The director was furious. Unauthorized surveillance, fake break-in reports, and threats of violence? That’s a hard “no” from university administration.
Petty Revenge: Served with a Side of Humiliation
John wasn’t fired (sadly for those who love instant karma), but the fallout was deliciously poetic. His privileges? Gone. His cushy job, now in a fishbowl office with a big window so everyone could watch him Google “how to look busy at work.” The games and YouTube videos? History. To top it off, he was assigned dreaded weekend shifts to check for—wait for it—crypto-mining “rats.” Meanwhile, the guard, dragged into this mess by John’s wild accusations, now had extra patrols. And the OP? Contract ended, dignity intact, and a front-row seat to John’s slow-motion implosion.
The final punchline? The mysterious rat was never found. Maybe they never existed. Maybe, just maybe, the real “rat” was the paranoia inside John’s head all along.
Lessons from the Lab
This isn’t just a story about petty revenge (though it’s a glorious example). It’s a cautionary tale about workplace toxicity, the dangers of unchecked paranoia, and how sometimes, the harder you try to protect your “dream job,” the faster you lose it. John’s obsession with rooting out threats only exposed his own incompetence and led to his undoing. If only he’d put that energy into, you know, actually working.
So, next time you encounter a “John” in your workplace—someone so fixated on guarding their turf they trip over their own schemes—remember this story. Sometimes, the best revenge is just letting them dig their own hole… and maybe giving the shovel a little nudge.
Have you ever had a coworker like John? How did you handle it? Drop your own petty revenge stories in the comments below!
Inspired by u/Timothy_Jor’s post on r/PettyRevenge. Read the original here.
Original Reddit Post: John's 'rat problem' backfires massively.