When “Schmooking dot Shit” Promises Free Breakfast—But the Pancakes Are a Lie
Picture this: It’s Saturday morning at a swanky hotel, the kind with marble floors and a restaurant so high-end you need to Google half the menu. You’re the front desk agent, coffee in hand, and in marches a guest, eyes wide with expectation, stomach growling louder than a Harley. “But Schmooking said breakfast is included!” they declare, brandishing their phone triumphantly like a golden ticket to Wonka’s factory.
You steel yourself for battle. Because you know what’s coming—and it’s not eggs Benedict.
The Rise of the “Schmooking Said” Guest
If you’ve ever worked hotel front desk, you know the phenomenon: Guests arrive armed not with facts, but with the gospel according to third-party booking sites. In this hilarious (yet painfully real) tale from Reddit’s r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk, user u/ninestarryskies shares the saga of “Schmooking dot shit”—an all-too-familiar pseudonym for certain, um, less-than-accurate booking platforms.
Here’s the situation: Lately, the hotel’s been inundated with guests convinced that their stay includes free breakfast, courtesy of what Schmooking told them. The problem? The hotel’s restaurant is so fancy it probably charges extra for the aroma of espresso, let alone a complimentary croissant. Free breakfast? Not even on the menu.
To make matters worse, the restaurant is closed on Sundays and Mondays. So even if the ghost of Schmooking himself whipped up a pancake buffet, nobody’s getting fed those days—period.
The Internet’s Authority Complex
Let’s face it: We all want to trust what we see online. But in the hospitality world, the disconnect between what’s promised on booking sites and what’s actually offered can be as wide as the Grand Canyon. Guests, understandably, take these promises at face value. After all, why would a big, official-looking website lie?
Simple: sometimes, they’re just wrong. Maybe the property’s info is outdated, or someone checked the wrong box (“Breakfast included? Sure!”). But when the front desk is left to explain that, no, you can’t have eggs on the house, things get heated fast.
The Redditor’s point is gold: “If Schmooking told you you’ll get a discount for jumping off a bridge, how far would you run to get to the nearest one?” In other words: Don’t believe everything you read—especially if it sounds too good (or too delicious) to be true.
A Day in the Life: Repeating Yourself on Loop
Our front desk hero describes the real challenge: Repeating, again and again, that breakfast isn’t included—or isn’t even available. And if Schmooking charged you for it, well, you’ll have to take it up with them. The hotel can’t control what’s listed on third-party sites, but they’re the ones left facing the music (or the famished guests).
Management knows there’s an issue. Are they fixing it? That’s anyone’s guess. Meanwhile, the front desk is stuck playing referee between angry guests and the truth.
What’s the Solution?
If you’re a frequent traveler, here’s the takeaway: Always check with the hotel directly about amenities—especially the edible ones. That extra phone call could save you from a morning of disappointment (and maybe even a hangry meltdown in the lobby).
If you work in hospitality, you’ve probably got your own “Schmooking said” stories. Maybe you’ve even developed a script: “I’m so sorry, but breakfast isn’t included. If you were charged, please contact your booking provider.” Rinse, repeat, try not to cry.
The good news? You’re not alone. And as long as booking sites keep promising mythical breakfasts, there will be plenty of stories (and hangry guests) to go around.
Let’s Hear Your Tales!
Have you ever been promised something wild by a booking site—only to find out it was a mirage? Or do you work the front desk and face the “But Schmooking said!” crowd every week? Share your stories in the comments! And remember: When in doubt, check with the source. Your stomach (and your sanity) will thank you.
Original Reddit Post: But Shmooking said breakfast is included!!