When Your Date Wants You to 'Invest' in Him, So You Drop $400 on Sushi for Yourself Instead
First dates are supposed to have a little magic—a spark, some butterflies, maybe a spicy tuna roll or two. But when Reddit user u/MegaThiccMongoose sat down with her sushi date (affectionately dubbed "Budget Gary"), she found herself in the middle of a masterclass on modern pettiness, self-investment, and the true meaning of omakase.
Let’s just say, if you ever wondered what happens when a man expects you to foot the bill for his sashimi fantasy, you’re about to witness a tale that will have you cheering, cringing, and craving gold-flaked wagyu all at once.
The Set-Up: When "Investment" Means Paying for His Meal
The story begins like many modern romances: a dating app match, a mutual love of sushi, and the hope of a connection over glistening nigiri. But as soon as our heroine and Budget Gary sat down, the vibe went from "let's get to know each other" to "let me know your credit limit."
Without missing a beat, Gary drops:
“You’re paying, right? Women should invest in men they like.”
Reader, if you just felt your eyebrows shoot up, you’re not alone. Our narrator, quick on her feet, asked the logical follow-up: Does he invest in women he likes?
His answer:
“No, I save my money.”
So, to recap: Gary is both broke and a philosopher. (His philosophy? Never miss an opportunity to let someone else pay for your spicy eel.)
The Walk-Out: Dramatic Exits and Dramatic Lessons
As if his opening line wasn’t enough, Gary kept pressing the issue, whining about not being “spoiled” like he was auditioning for the role of “Most Entitled Bachelor.” When our narrator didn’t whip out her wallet, Gary stormed out—presumably to find a more generous investor.
This is where most bad dates would simply end. But not for u/MegaThiccMongoose. She decided if she was going to get ghosted at the table, she might as well dine like a queen.
The Petty Revenge: Omakase for One, Please
Cue the petty revenge. Our protagonist looked the chef dead in the eye and said,
“I’d like the omakase. The expensive one. The one that comes with the A5 wagyu and gold flakes. And the dessert course. And the sake pairing.”
If you’ve ever dreamed of living your best food vlogger life, this is your moment. She recorded each decadent bite, made a private story post captioned “POV: investing in someone who actually deserves it,” and let the universe (and Budget Gary) know that self-worth pairs beautifully with uni and a side of revenge.
The Aftermath: Return of Budget Gary
As fate would have it, Budget Gary saw the story and slid into her DMs with peak incredulity:
“Wtf. You spent that much on YOURSELF?”
The final blow?
“Yeah. I don’t invest in depreciating assets.”
BLOCKED. Mic drop, chopsticks down, lesson served.
Why This Story Hits So Hard
Let’s be honest: dating in the 2020s can feel like a series of weird transactions. But “investing” in a partner doesn’t mean buying their dinner before you even know their last name. This story is the ultimate reminder that you should never feel guilty for spending money on yourself—especially when the alternative is funding someone else’s entitlement.
And the pettiness? Chef’s kiss. Sometimes the best revenge isn’t slamming the door, but treating yourself to the meal of your dreams and letting the freeloader see exactly what he missed out on.
Sushi, Self-Respect, and the Art of Petty Revenge
So next time you’re on a date with someone who treats you like an ATM, channel your inner MegaThiccMongoose. Order the omakase, savor every bite, and remember: the best investment is in yourself. Plus, nothing says “I’m out of your league” like gold flakes on your wagyu.
Ever had a date go from bad to boujee? Share your own tales of petty revenge (or sushi triumphs) in the comments below!
What would you have done in this situation? Ever splurged on yourself after a dud date? Drop your stories below—let’s hear your most deliciously petty moments!
Original Reddit Post: My date blew me off for not buying him sushi. I got $400 omakase instead.