When Your Neighbor’s Grandson Is a Menace, Blast Barney: Petty Revenge in the Age of Earworms
Imagine you’re living your best introvert life in a charming, creaky old house—converted into a duplex, filled with friendly, low-drama neighbors, and blessed with near-monastic quiet. For five years, this was u/onuskah’s reality. That is, until a new neighbor and her problematic grandson moved in, unleashing a storm of chaos, police visits, and—most heinously—Barney the Dinosaur.
Welcome to the wild, petty, and oddly musical tale of one Redditor’s quest for peace… and maybe, just maybe, a little justice.
The Purple Dinosaur Strikes Back
It all started innocently enough. A sweet, elderly woman and her two cats moved in next door—along with her hulking, kratom-addled, and perpetually inebriated grandson. The grandson, a former boxer, quickly became the duplex’s main source of noise, drama, and police activity. Still, u/onuskah tried to be understanding—everyone has struggles, after all.
But everything changed when OP (“original poster”) saw the grandmother sporting a suspicious black eye and heard the all-too-familiar “walked into a door” excuse. The community rallied in horror: as u/Big_Midnight_6632 put it, “This is not a situation for petty revenge. This is where you need to step in and step up.”
For a blissful moment, things quieted down—perhaps the grandson was in jail or rehab. But “somehow, Palpatine returned,” as OP dryly noted, and the shouting matches resumed, echoing through the shared bathroom vent.
Fed up with the morning cacophony, OP orchestrated a plan worthy of any 90’s kid: blasting the Barney theme song at full volume through the vent, targeting the grandson’s ears every time he started up with grandma. “Every time he starts his shit, he’s gonna hear Barney blasted directly into his apartment,” OP wrote. “I don’t care if I get children’s tunes recommended to me for the rest of time, it’ll be worth it.”
The Community Chorus: Petty Playlists and Real Concerns
The Reddit community, as always, had thoughts—a veritable symphony of them. Some were gleeful, others pragmatic, and a few were deeply concerned.
First, the petty revenge brigade came out in force. Top commenter u/SandratheSiren suggested escalating the auditory warfare: “Throw in some Baby Shark if you think he’s growing immune to Barney.” The idea snowballed, with u/onuskah [OP] proposing a diabolical playlist: “Just seven Barney songs, one It’s Not Unusual, and ten hours of Baby Shark.” If that wasn’t enough to drive anyone to sobriety, the ten-hour rendition of “This Is The Song That Never Ends” (courtesy of Lamb Chop) was also recommended—an earworm so insidious, commenters like u/Blondelefty regretted even mentioning it.
Others offered suggestions from the pantheon of annoying kids’ songs: “What Does the Fox Say?”, “The Duck Song,” “Banana Phone,” and even “It’s a Small World.” Some even reminisced about their own childhood traumas—u/Glittering_Win_9677 confessed to still humming Raffi’s “Baby Beluga” decades later.
But beneath the laughs, a current of serious concern ran through the thread. Many, like u/Heavy_Permission5704 and u/Friendly-Channel-480, pressed OP to call the police and adult protective services (APS). “Why didn’t you call the police?” was a refrain echoed throughout.
OP clarified in multiple updates: the cops were being called—every time. The grandmother, fiercely independent despite her age, refused to press charges or accept help, and even the landlord was keeping case logs in hopes of building a case for eviction or mandated treatment.
As u/CollarWinter7614, who works in protective services, explained: “If she denies that she’s being abused and uses the door excuse, there is nothing [APS] can do even if they know it’s bullshit.” The frustrating reality is that without the victim’s cooperation, authorities’ hands are often tied.
Between a Rock and a Hard Playlist
The community was split—was OP’s musical campaign harmless fun, or could it make things worse? Some, like u/Malibucat48, warned that “poking the bear” could provoke the grandson to turn his rage on OP or, worse, take it out on his grandmother. Others countered that any tactic that might disrupt the cycle of abuse—even if only momentarily—was worth a shot.
Practical advice abounded: keep calling the police, document everything, check in with the grandmother, and assure her she’s not alone. “Maybe when he’s out, let her know that she doesn’t have to worry about being alone,” u/joemc225 suggested, emphasizing the importance of community support.
Despite the dire circumstances, the thread also became a cathartic space for gallows humor and shared trauma—who knew that so many adults were still haunted by Barney, Baby Shark, and Lamb Chop? As u/TakingMyPowerBack444 put it, “Now THIS is the kinda petty I like!”
The Takeaway: Earworms, Empathy, and Everyday Heroes
So, what can we learn from this tale of musical mischief? For one, never underestimate the power of kids’ songs as weapons of petty revenge. But more importantly, the story shines a spotlight on the complexities of elder abuse, the limits of intervention, and the importance of looking out for our neighbors—even when the solutions aren’t simple.
If you’re ever tempted to settle a score with a well-timed blast of “Barney & Friends,” remember: sometimes the pettiest acts can be a cry for help or a stand against something darker. And if you’re lucky enough to live in peace and quiet, give thanks you don’t need a playlist called “Songs to Beat Your Grandma To.”
What do you think—was OP justified, or did they go too far? Should the playlist have included “Caillou”? Share your thoughts and your favorite (or most hated) earworms in the comments below. And if you’re facing a situation like this, remember: empathy, action, and maybe a little musical mischief can go a long way.
Original Reddit Post: I love you, you love me ...