Vaseline, Wax Strips, and the Art of Petty Revenge: A Legendary Reddit Tale
Revenge is a dish best served cold—or, in this case, with a side of Vaseline and a handful of wax strips. Few Reddit stories have captured the chaotic, mischievous spirit of r/PettyRevenge quite like u/delightfully-bored’s legendary tale of exacting justice on her high school boyfriend, who, as it turns out, was both a homophobe and a cheater. Buckle up for a wild ride that had thousands of Redditors howling, cringing, and debating the true limits of payback.
If you’ve ever fantasized about getting even with an ex in a way that’s both deviously creative and (mostly) harmless, this is the post for you. And if you’re here for the comment section drama—well, let’s just say Reddit did not disappoint.
The Setup: Love, Betrayal, and a Bottle of Bud Ice
Picture this: It’s 25 years ago. Our protagonist, fresh out of high school, has moved to a new state to support her college-bound boyfriend. She’s working six days a week, no car, hustling to keep them afloat. He, meanwhile, is attending college and, during one drunken evening, unleashes a barrage of homophobic remarks about her newly-out family member.
She tells him to knock it off. He doesn’t. Eventually, he passes out drunk—naked, as was apparently his custom. And that’s when the wheels of petty revenge begin to turn.
In a stroke of what commenter u/FreedomBudget5618 called “perfect” pettiness, she grabs some Vaseline, greases his rear end, and slathers up the neck of a beer bottle (Bud Ice, for those keeping score—“Butt Ice,” as u/limpquArkduck quipped). She then leaves the bottle by his bedside and sleeps on the couch, letting his imagination run wild the next morning.
The result? He avoids eye contact with her for a week, never bringing up the incident. As OP later confirmed, “I didn’t do anything to him but he never brought it up so I never told him the truth… let him learn to not be a homophobe.” Reddit was in awe: “No actual harm, but the implications. Perfection,” praised u/Chuckitybye.
Wax On, Wax Off: The Second Strike
But wait—there’s more. It turns out, the boyfriend wasn’t just a bigot; he was also a cheater. When OP discovered his infidelity, she called a family member to pick her up (a six-hour drive!). Before leaving, she delivered one final, sticky salvo: while he was passed out drunk (again), she applied pre-waxed strips to his leg, chest, and—most diabolically—across his eyebrow.
The next morning, he’d have to rip them off himself. And as u/WizardSleeves31 applauded, “The wax pads is fucking hilarious, and criminal, but mostly hilarious.” The eyebrow, in particular, drew gasps and giggles: “The eyebrow was evil,” wrote u/Marine__0311, sharing a tale from his own eyebrow-shaving misadventures in the Corps. Others noted, with a shudder, that “eyebrows don’t always grow back” (thanks, u/OriginalIronDan).
To add insult to (literal) injury, OP took every lighter, match, and even the toaster—leaving her heavy-smoker ex completely unable to light a cigarette. As u/CompleteGene82 marveled, “TIL Toaster could be used to light up a cig!”
The Comment Section: Laughter, Lessons, and a Dash of Controversy
Reddit’s response was a whirlwind of laughter, shared stories, eyebrow maintenance tips, and, yes, a few heated debates. The top comments praised the “chaotic genius” of OP’s revenge. “Such chaotic genius, I’m honestly impressed,” beamed u/Slight-Book2296. The Vaseline ploy, in particular, was lauded for its psychological warfare—no harm done, just a mind-bending morning after.
But the comment section wasn’t all fun and games. Some users, like u/Dandibear, seized the opportunity for a public service announcement: “NEVER insert a bottle or other item with an opening on it into your rectum. Movement can create a vacuum and cause SEVERE DAMAGE.” (Reddit: come for the stories, stay for the unexpected medical advice.)
Others debated the ethics of post-passing-out pranks. A handful of commenters called OP’s actions assault, prompting OP to clarify: “For the record I did NOT assault him. I put Vaseline on his butt crack and on the bottle and set the bottle on the table. I let his imagination wander. No assault took place.” For most, the spirit of the revenge—petty, not harmful—remained intact.
On a lighter note, the waxing saga prompted a mini-thread on the woes of eyebrow and facial hair. “Nobody tells you that your 50s are going to be an exercise in eyebrow maintenance,” lamented u/boethius61, to which others chimed in about rogue chin, ear, and nose hairs. Turns out, the real villain might be aging, not ex-boyfriends.
Petty Revenge: A Delicate Art
What makes this revenge story so legendary? It’s not just the creativity—it’s the balance. As u/Chuckitybye pointed out, the best petty revenge inflicts no real harm but leaves a lasting impression. This story is a masterclass in psychological payback, crafted with just the right mix of humor, audacity, and plausible deniability.
And as for the eyebrow? Reddit agrees: let this be a cautionary tale for cheaters, homophobes, and anyone who dares take their eyebrows for granted. As OP gleefully noted years later, “I saw a pic of him a few years ago, that eyebrow still isn’t right. Oops.”
Conclusion: Would You Dare?
So, what do you think—genius or diabolical? Have you ever dished out (or received) a dose of petty revenge? Share your stories and thoughts in the comments below! And remember: sometimes, the best revenge is a perfectly placed wax strip… and a little imagination.
Now, go forth and plot responsibly—preferably far away from anyone’s eyebrows.
What’s your favorite petty revenge story? Let’s hear it!
Original Reddit Post: Exactly bf learned. Over and over again.